He is in Control

I have learnt and I am still learning how much  it costs me when I think I can take control. It is never simple.  A few days now, I was going through a rough time  and I decided to keep God out of it (not that it is possible!!!) and just fuss about it. Well it has not been easy. On Saturday, I was so mad at someone . I started wishing them bad. The crazy thoughts that went through my mind were not good at all. I wished that the object they are using to cause me discomfort would be ruined/crash.

I realized later that i was not supposed to wish her harm. I was instead supposed to pray for her and to love her. Maybe....just maybe, she would change her ways and be more sensitive.
For a few days since, i have had some peace. I am praying that it will remain. And more than that, i am praying that God will transform her and win her to Himself. 

I have realized that i need to depend on God for even the tiny little things. Even when i feel that i have them under control, sometimes they hit me in the face and i totally feel lost because of depending on my own strength. This morning, Hamlet did not want to have a rain jacket on, and no matter how much i tried to explain to him that it was drizzling out and that he could catch a cold, he wouldn't change his opinion.
I was starting to get angry.....slowly, it was building up inside. Then i remembered something. I needed to pray. That Hamlet would understand and also for me to be patient and not be quick to get angry. Suddenly, i felt peace and calmness, that could only come God.

He was not happy but we made a deal that i would tell the boda (motorcycle) guy to bring it back home once he gets him to school. 

This tiny issue made me more aware of how it is important for me to trust God with everything no matter how big or small it is. He is in control, not me.

I could sing of your Love forever

Today as i sat in church, i realised how sinful i am each day and how God's love for me is unchanging no matter what i am thinking, doing or even failing to do.

It began with feelings of resentment toward something, and i let it go on for quite sometime. But i felt a strong conviction concerning those thoughts that i was entertaining. I asked God to help me. Just in church, i was sinning in my heart.

I am learning everyday that God loves me even in those moments and He is always ready for me to come back home. What can i say?
I can Just sing of His Love. He puts up with so much from me.

Happy Love day....

I do not know who Valentine was but I am thankful for this day. I definitely feel love today. I have actually been feeling Love this entire week.

In My BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), it was all about Love this week. Abraham in his old age, wanted to make sure that his dear son would find a good woman. So he sends his most trusted servant on a mission to find Isaac, a wife.

It pointed me to how much Jesus sends His Holy spirit to search us, and to find us for Himself. It is amazing. There is a father, the messenger and the son. How amazing this story is so real to me. And Rebekah accepted to be led to the Master's son as a bride. A true love story it was in the end.

I am thankful that the Master (God) sent his Messenger (Spirit) to seek me to be in a personal and up close relationship with His son (Christ). I feel so loved and I am glad that I said Yes.

And today, i was treated to more. I received a message from the office that we would have a treat this morning. It was special and I am totally thankful that i had a wonderful start today and felt so much love from the people i work with.

Everyday i look at my son, I am reminded even more how much God loves me. He Loves us so much.

My initial plan was that on his day I would wear red, buy myself a few roses and chocolate and go watch a jazz band later tonite J Kind of  dreamy… but I am liking the way it has turned out so far.

I pray that we all will feel His love as we celebrate today.

Happy Valentine's Day.:)

Stuck and scared

Well. of all the days that Makerere students choose to strike, it has to be the day I go to that campus!!!
I have been avoiding that place for a long time and when I decide to go there, is when it goes crazy.

It started with a few students shouting wewe wewe, a common strike song. As I sat and waited to meet, some of the officials that I was meant to meet, the crowd grew bigger and louder. I was scared. The doors of the hall I was in were shut and I had to sit there and wait.

A group that I had to hide from

After a few minutes, I heard... a big bang. I know that sound. It is police dispersing the crowd with tear gas. I hate tear gas. It is terrible.


I started thinking, " Now, I am stuck here, who will pick my boy from school?", " will I make it out of here alive?".

And I was geting hungry. Not fun at all.

After sometime, there was silence for a few minutes and I moved out. I managed to get some distance between myself and the students but not for so long. The Big bang again... I almost ran like I was being chased but good thing is that I was somewhere safer and out of sight from those striking.

Finally I made it home in one piece. Thank you God.

Faith

What is faith?  Well, this is how God puts it down for us.  “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”  If you didn't know already, then you may want to check Hebrews 11.  God’s words concerning faith are there.

But let me first look at those words and cross check with where I am at the moment.

Faith is confidence in what we hope for……. assurance about what we do not see.

Oh how I pray that I will not be found wanting in that area. It is hard at times having that assurance especially about thing we do not see. But, knowing that God would never have required it of us unless it was possible, gives me hope.

I was thinking over the story of Abraham and his faith. God surely tested this guy’s faith!!! Telling Abraham to kill his son, whom he loved very much!!! I don’t really know if I could have passed that test.

God does test our faith. It is very important. I have had mine put to the test occasionally  and I am thankful for those times .

Last week, I felt joy when I chose to have faith and believe even with out seeing. It was amazing.

It is not like i have it all figured out because i fail many times  but my prayer is that my faith will increase each day. Only God can do that in me if i give my heart to him. 

This feeling...

Well, what do i have to say? I feel horrible. But who blogs about how terrible they feel?
I do. I can't help but at least express how i feel today. It is not a good day so far. And My sweet little boy is sick 😞

I thought I hate hot days. Well I have come to find out that I don’t like long rainy days as well. And that is exactly what happened yesterday. It rained like it was not going to stop.  Times like those make me think of Noah days. That maybe, this is it!!!  The rain that will not stop.  So, I was cold, very cold and sick . Not good. Then I had to watch my 4 year old as he restlessly turned in bed because he doesn't feel good either.  Eishh… I  don’t like this feeling.  I guess I am entitled  to expression of discomfort  once in a while!

Who does not like good things? Not all that glitters is gold.

Well i learned a very big lesson while studying Genesis 13 this week. The story of Lot and Abraham separating.

Wealth seems to carry with it a lot of good and bad. that is exactly what happened with Lot and Abraham after they had each acquired great wealth. They could not live together peacefully. Quarrels erupted among their herds men. It was ugly!

Abraham being the man that he was, always looking out for the needs of others and loving harmony, called his Nephew Lot and they had a good chat to resolve this situation that was tearing them apart.

Abraham as recalled in Genesis 13:8-9 said to Lot,“Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives.  Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.”

Imagine that!!! Keep in mind that Abraham was Lot's uncle, so all rights to choose first. And he was an elder, he was the reason they moved in the first place, he must have also remembered that God had promised him that land. But check him!!! telling Lot to pick where ever he wants to go. 

I sometimes picture myself in that situation. i would have possibly stamped my foot and said, " Hey, you Lot, look man, your herdsmen are very notorious. i can't have them messing around. do i need to remind you that you are here because of me. God gave me this land. it is mine. so , live here peacefully, or i will evict you and you look for some place else where. I am very disappointed in you !!! "

May be i wouldn't say that but i probably wouldn't be as humble as Abraham was.

So u can imagine what Lot felt upon hearing his uncle say that. He must have thought in his heart, "Okay, here is my chance now!!!"

The next verses tell us what his response was.

Vs 10 and 11 tell us, " Lot looked around and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan toward Zoar was well watered, like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt. (This was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted company......."

We are going to rewind a bit.... Lot looked around and saw the WHOLE plain of the Jordan .......well watered, like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt (keeping in mind that they had been there previously and must have been taken up by all the splendor of Egypt!) Oooh my goodness... who doesn't want good things????

Upon seeing these things what did he do? Lot became covetous !! He chose himself the entire plain and went East. He was so eager to go East, choosing what was very pleasing to the eye. Aren't we all like Lot in many ways. Looking with our eyes? choosing the treasures this world offers?

But the other verses kind of shook me. After the two men parted ways, we see them starting afresh but they had different new beginnings. 

Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom. Sodom????? Huh??? 

Take a look at verse 13. Now the people of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the Lord.

This  must have been common knowledge through out the entire land that Sodom was evil. Lot couldn't have possibly been unaware of that fact.

What was he thinking? what business would he possibly have had  to be pitching his tent near Sodom, a city whose bad reputation was laid bare for the whole world to see. 

As i write all this,  I am thinking, are we not a lot like Lot? choosing what looks appealing to the eye? compromising and making things look okay as long as they make us feel good??

These are some of my thoughts about Lot and more so that represent a lot of us.

He looked at the here and now ( the well watered plains......) don't we always do that? choosing what is comfortable, convenient for us at the moment?

He was very cunning (choosing entire plain!!!)... Greed has consumed our hearts. we want everything for us. If not everything, at least we want the best portion of all.

But what happened after Lot left?

I have no idea what Abraham felt after Lot went to possess the land. can't tell. the Lord though had better plans. Abraham looked like he had lost so much but he gained even more by his actions. He was blessed even more. 

The Lord said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, “Look around from where you are, to the north and south, to the east and west.  All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever.  I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted. Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you.” 

God gave Abraham so much more than he expected. Even the land that Lot had picked for himself!!! 

The story doesn't end there. There were several consequences that accompanied Lot's choice, he later moved within the city, he was corrupted by the people of Sodom, their practices seemed normal to him( considering that he was willing to give his daughters to the guys who wanted to sleep with his male guests), He was captured by kings that waged war on Sodom (his family must have suffered), his wife died as they fled the destruction of Sodom, he was left to live in a cave, with nothing! his daughters had sexual intercourse with him because they were in a place with no dudes!!!  

What a not so happy ending!!!  NOT ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD